Back and Forth, Back and Forth

What does it take to break a pattern?  Simply put, stopping yourself before you get too far and starting somewhere new. Practicing something new until you get comfortable in the newness and uncomfortable enough in the old pattern to know immediately when you've slipped into it.

What is the difference between illusion and delusion?  I know nothing I see is real, it's all part of a made up reality WE live in. It's US, CREATOR, creating a place to be,  and US, CREATOR, living LIFE as separate entities in order to experience all the facets of what living or being alive brings. 

I,  CREATOR, lost track of all of the entities which I AM, I got lost in MYSELF,  billions,  trillions and more of LIFE and living,  it's what can happen when you're not aware.  

The illusion takes you and you're gone,  thinking you're a person for 100 years and then another one,  and another one.  Or sometimes an ELEPHANT and shark, maybe another fish, then how about just being the water for a while, then the air, maybe the EARTH and Sun.  Now how long was all that illusion?

Then I'm me. My TRUE LOVE has a change in work schedule, we talk less and less until we hardly talk and in my de-illusion, delusion is taking it down or back steps, he has someone new and now loves her. In my old pattern I was comfortable being sad. Now I find sadness exhausting and uncomfortable.  When I fall into sadness I get a tightness in my throat. That tightness is a constant reMINDer to LAUGH Heidi!  Smile and have FUN! I forgot.  

Last week when I fell down into sadness, I was exhausted.  I was uncomfortable,  but I took that for being sad, because of the de-illusion.  Not that the sadness was causing the exhaustion.  This is where being aware is important.  And perceiving it correctly.  This is where you can tell,  the sadness is really uncomfortable and exhausting.

Despite falling down,  I have been NEW every day since the beginning of 2015! What IS that newness?  It's ME~CREATOR, WAKING UP each day and being here, where Heidi is,  looking through her EYES,  experiencing LIFE.