The TRUTH Pt.2

What's the TRUTH?  The truth comes round and you can't ignore it,  no matter how you want to.  Just continuing to live the lie,  and not be truly happy. 

I have lived my life, getting into relationships with men not wanting it or not being ready.  Not being able to even say they loved me, but me giving love  freely and expressing it as so.

It wasn't until recently, that I learned all that was never LOVE. Those so called loves, filled the holes I had of a lifetime of sadness.  But it really didn't fill the holes. It was like a tunnel,  you think has been filled,  but as soon as the dirt settles, there's always room for more. And dirt, it was.  Never a clean love,  just a lustful one. Lust is a lie, it's based upon the things you are missing and either share with your lover, or they have what you lack, and that is the attraction.

Then last year, after finding myself,  I meet a man based on what I have and there's an equilibrium and easy going feeling between us two.  But there's a problem,  he's not available.  We love each other and communicate almost every day. And we want to be with each other, but he has obligations, which I understand.  He wants me to wait on the sidelines,  seeing his life, and missing out on a life with him, until he's ready.

A couple years ago that may have been acceptable. Today, no way! I LOVE MYSELF. I LOVE MYSELF.  I LOVE MYSELF. That's the big difference. I realize that if I want MY entire LIFE to reflect LOVE,  then I must reflect LOVE to the UNIVERSE. I like this quote, which tells it so well. I'm not sure who said it; 

'LIFE is an echo,  what you send out comes back,  what you sow you reap,   what you give you get, what you SEE in others, exists in you.'~unknown

I want LOVE with him, with all MY HEART.  But here with me.  I AM not someone who sits on the sidelines anymore.  I AM NEW and ready to LIVE.  I AM a FREE SPIRIT,  I've always been one.  It could be I'll BE here, when he's ready,  I hope so because it's a very good LOVE.