Well I'm done now. What does that mean exactly? It means I quit fighting what was happening to my relationship with my TRUE LOVE.
I didn't foresee the change, but of course it was inevitable. The law of attraction is something I have been trying to teach myself for some time now. About two weeks ago, I figured out something BIG. I wrote what I said next to a friend, it's crazy.
Get this, I'm sitting on my computer summer of 2012. I decide being alone is not an option. Within a month bozo Marine starts writing and I fall apart.
January 2013, I meet the man who is me in that moment. A Sagittarius, anger to match my sadness, likes stuff I do. Same vibrational frequency. Doesn't want a relationship. I wanted a relationship, but didn't know what one looks like. We were both children. Sometimes attraction fills the crossed spots.
Then when my vibrations rose, I was moving away from him, but didn't want to be away from him. It was time to work on other parts of me, I met his friend on Facebook. Both of us angry and sad, loved each other in a minute, romantics, little kids, liked the same stuff. He suffered from anxiety and depression like me. He taught me about my thinking patterns. Then I broke up with the first man, I stopped being friends with his friend.
Then I met a man from an online dating site, when I needed LOVE. He didn't want a relationship, but wawas willing to say I love you, and I still didn't know how to LOVE or be in a relationship myself. He was loving and kind when I needed it. He started me on my LOVE bomb which changed my LIFE. I met MYSELF.
I closed the door on my 1st lover and let him go. I said to myself, I will work on my books and ART. I won't get into a relationship until I start doing what I LOVE and being it as well. Then I met a new LOVE. He wasn't ready for a relationship, but was willing to say I love you and see me. At the end of December, I worked out the last of my anger from the past. I AM CLEAR. I was supposed to go see him right after the 1st, but that's when I was letting go of my past. It wouldn't have worked.
Really it was then, that weekend that I finally let go of my 1st lover, and with him, went my anger. My new LOVE was pissed for a couple of days, then slowly stopped talking to me. Until last week we barely talked and I know there's someone new. But that is because he is angry still, and I am not. We no longer attract each other.
I told him, now you work out your anger. (Because I still wanted our attraction) He said he had. But I know he didn't because he met me, and is not able to be in a relationship, because of his fear of judgements if he would be with me.
I met my 1st lover in January 2013, and talked a year, almost every day, then he stopped to me when I changed. I met 2nd LOVE July 2014, and talked 6 months, almost every day, then he stopped talking to me, in January, when I changed.
Is this my crazy LIFE?
My 2nd LOVE, says he still wants to talk and still wants to be with me, he says relax, it will happen. The 2nd man I met from the online site, told me relax it will happen. I deserve better. I miss the conversations I had with him, because we are so alike. But I'm not happy with this situation and the way he treats me. I knew it was over before it was over. I had a vision of my success and he wasn't in it. I love the man, I cried all last week, and I think I'm about to let him go.
That was what I said to a friend. I was worried when writing it, about MY LOVE'S relationship with me because we are alike and can talk forever, except he hurt me and I really don't have anything to say to him anymore. I was worried that I wouldn't find another.
Then yesterday I learned a friend died. We were kindred spirits, both sarcastic and loved horses. But we grew apart from political differences and when I started working on myself, I became much less interested in talking about horses and I lost a lot of my sarcasm. We grew apart because we had nothing more in common. I realized a woman who friend requested me on Facebook is just like me, even if different and was feeling a lot of the same emotions when we became friends. Then I met a man. It's not a love relationship, not that it couldn't be, but the point is, he's like me and I attracted him. That IS the way the law of attraction works.
All will be well over time. Pain needs time to heal, and I want to feel it, so I can remember how strong the LOVE was and never regret it. See, we are supposed to LOVE, and of course when a person changes and the other doesn't, there's nothing to do but say goodbye. I used to think I'd never find someone, but that's a lie we like to tell ourselves. There's always someone waiting when you open the door to LOVE.
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