Realizations

I am watching old reruns of Miss Marple on Netflix, and earlier I was struggling with those same old thoughts of loneliness and some anger, from knowhere. Then I thought of how every man I met in the last two years, I was supposed to meet to shape my destiny.  Not for myself though, but for the ending to a book I have been blocked from writing for the last 10 years.  And WHY? Because I had no ending and because I hated people, because I hated myself. 

I had to learn to LOVE MYSELF unconditionally and without expectations, before I could love another,  but first I had to learn what LOVE IS.  And to do that I had to learn to LOVE someone who was me, who was my mirror image.  In learning to LOVE him, I learned to LOVE MYSELF.  During that process I learned to LOVE people.  The men I met taught me how to create the characters I need to place in my book, one man said the ending to the book. I had written it down before meeting him several times,  but it's the hearing, seeing,  experiencing and writing which must happen before realization.

A couple weeks ago, I thought of how I discovered the ending. Something I always knew, just hadn't realized yet. Then other day I thought of how,  I needed to meet them to SEE what kind of characters were needed. Then a minute ago I thought of how I had moved to this tiny community I lived in before my present home, to get away and write,  but instead I turned INwards and started my journey without knowing it. Then I moved here to prepare myself for awakening.  Then I realized the people I meet and know can all be characters in my book.

Everything is a mirror for us to observe,  learn and grow. I was struggling and sad earlier,  then something shifted and changed,  then the answers came to me and everything came together.  It's amazing how that works.  I AM ALWAYS reflecting, perceiving, learning,  growing and mostly without my knowledge until it appears before me. Writing and ART are my purpose, my purpose is manifest destiny for this person to achieve.